Chronic people pleasing is one of the sneakiest nervous system adaptive strategies because in our culture, particularly it you’re a women, you’ve actually been actually conditioned to put others before yourself.
These means that when you´re selfless, you are very often applauded for it. And it feels good when you get praise for prioritising someone else’s needs, doesn’t it? Secretly, you like it.
In fact, you may not even think right now that this kind of dynamic is a bad thing.
But eventually, if you can’t say no, your body will do it for you and this is why chronic people-pleasing often leads to burn out or becoming very sick.
To find freedom from this conditioning before it’s too late, you need to learn to recognise and disrupt these default behaviour patterns.
And this is where somatic therapy and coaching are incredibly effective, because by working with the wisdom of your body, you can learn how to identify your needs, and build your capacity to honour them. This leads to better boundaries and less self-extraction
Remember, chronic people-pleasing is something you learned to do in order to maintain relational safety. But you can teach your nervous system that it’s not only safe that you know and honour your needs, it’s actually vital for your health and well-being that you do.
And if you're looking for support with this, I'm here to help.
Love Sarah x
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