To the woman who was always the ‘good girl’, the over-responsible child….

In a conversation with a new client the other day, I explained that burnout often happens when we repeatedly neglect our needs and override our boundaries. 

And when it comes to repairing our boundaries, often we’re told to take a top-down approach, meaning get clear on our boundaries and then take action to put them into place. 

But in my own experience, I’d often find myself continually setting boundaries and then quickly overriding them. That was because although my mind was on board, my nervous system wasn’t. It didn’t feel safe to honour my boundaries, because my system had always found safety in putting everyone else’s needs and expectations.

I felt guilty for asserting boundaries and felt responsible for others. And this diminished my sense of self. I kept thinking I was weak. It also made me feel very resentful towards others.

But the truth was, it wasn’t anyone’s fault - I just hadn’t yet been given the right tools to repair, set and maintain my boundaries.

Now as a facilitator of somatic healing, I understand that the route to boundary repair isn’t just through putting boundaries in place. Instead, we need to also take a bottom-up approach, and work with the body and nervous system by helping our system process unfinished imprints such as guilt and shame, and then conditioning our body to find felt-sense safety in creating boundaries in the first place.

This is the big disruptive work that’ll set you free.

Love Sarah x

PS. Are you looking for support to access your body's wisdom, metabolise what's ready to be let go of, come into contact with your deepest medicine and thrive in your work, health, relationships & leadership? If that's a yes, come and work with me 1:1. Click here to read all the details and apply.


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